


Echoes

by JaegerBombs



Series: Echoes [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, I'll add more as I go, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-06-29 23:53:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaegerBombs/pseuds/JaegerBombs
Summary: A companion to canon.Over the years, what starts out as mutual respect and admiration grows into something far deeper than Eren and Levi imagined it would.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been wanting to write something that follows Eren and Levi’s relationship in canon for a while. A few months back, I’d recently found a playlist that heavily inspired me to finally try and make this wish of mine come to fruition. For now, I only have Underage tagged as a warning, but I ask that readers brace for potential major character death. It all really depends on how things happen in canon, because my goal is to try and not diverge from the main plot if I can avoid it. This fic is about filling in the gaps between canon events, and how Eren and Levi’s relationship buds off screen.
> 
> I want to give a shout out to my wonderful betas, [@omglevixeren](http://omglevixeren.tumblr.com) and [@attraversiamo19](http://attraversiamo19.tumblr.com). You guys were monumental in my decision to finally go through with starting this project and you’ve been so incredibly helpful already in helping me figure out how to make my ideas work better. Thank you!
> 
> You can also check out the playlist that I made for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/heidimoose/playlist/4NxueyK4jYRs54bmxqI4ON?si=y8CcOGOiTiSHU8bfUIo9qw).

_Captain Levi is never going to let me hear the end of it,_ Eren thought miserably, staring hard at a tin bucket filling slowly with water.

Maybe if he concentrated on it long enough, the water would stop dripping down or evaporate altogether. Either of those things would be more convenient than having to explain to the captain why his cleaning had come to an abrupt halt. But he only felt more dread as he listened to the continuous dripping of water.

He'd already mopped around the bucket where the water had settled before he entered the room, but if this rain didn't let up and he didn’t keep removing the water, then mildew would become a problem. Eren was so goddamn tired of mildew and the captain constantly reiterating how important it was to eliminate it.

A light tapping came from behind as someone’s footsteps drew closer. Were they the captain’s? Eren didn’t want to think about his reaction and he felt his muscles tense up. This room should have been clean an hour ago and the thought of Captain Levi throwing yet another workload on him as punishment for slacking off made him want to fling himself into the mouth of a titan again.

“Eren?”

He exhaled in relief at the sweet, feminine voice that sounded behind him. The tension in his muscles dissipated, shoulders dropping.

“Petra,” Eren replied, turning to give her a faint smile. “I was worried you might be the captain.”

“No, but he was asking about you,” Petra said, eyeing the bucket sitting next to Eren’s feet. “He expected you down for tea with the rest of us a while ago.”

“I know,” Eren started, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s just that the roof is leaking and I had to mop all of it up. I can't make it stop and the captain is going to be upset if there is water all over the place, and-”

“Eren,” Petra interrupted, tugging the mop out of Eren’s hand with a smile on her face. “I'll take over. The captain wants to have a word with you.”

“It’s about my cleaning isn't it?” Eren asked, worried. “Or is it more experiments with Squad Leader Hange?”

“I don't think it's either,” Petra replied, and words had never felt so reassuring to him. “It's been three weeks and you're still nervous around him?”

“Not really. I'm just… exhausted,” Eren said. “Ever since I got here it’s just been cleaning and experiments, over and over.”  

Petra leaned in close to Eren, looking up at him curiously. “Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?”

Eren leaned back slightly, trying to retain some personal space. “Well, I haven’t seen my friends much since I got here either,” he said. Thinking back, he’d only seen them maybe two or three brief times since joining the Survey Corps. Most of Eren’s time was spent with his squad or Hange. “Do you think if the expedition is a success that I might get a little more freedom to at least go see them? We were always together before this...”

“I’m sure that with the successful expedition, you’ll come back a full-blown scout and won’t have to worry about your special treatment any more,” Petra said, smiling cheerfully. “But… I think that if you just asked the captain, he would let you see your friends a bit more before then.”

Eren grimaced. It wasn’t that Captain Levi made him nervous anymore, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries either. “It’s just one more week, right? I’m not going to bother him with something silly.”

“I think he’d be understanding,” Petra insisted.

Eren shrugged. “Maybe.”

“How long have you known your friends?” Petra asked.

“Oh,” Eren started. He didn’t expect her to take interest. “Well most of them I only know from training, so about three years. But Mikasa and Armin have been my friends since before the fall of Wall Maria. We’re practically family. They were all I had after that day...”

“You know it’s okay to miss them, right?” Petra said. “If they’re like family, then naturally it hurts when you don’t get to be near them. I find myself missing my father quite a bit. I just wrote to him the other day, even.”

Eren couldn’t help but notice she started blushing.

“I’m sure he worries about you too.”

“I just hope that I can make him proud,” Petra said, smiling at Eren before letting out a sigh. “Anyway, go relax with some tea and talk to the captain. I'll finish up this room for you!”

Before Eren could react, Petra was practically shoving him through the doorway.

“Alright, alright, I’m going!”

Relaxing in a room alone with the captain? It didn’t seem likely. There would probably be more orders, more questions, more nagging. He admired the man a great deal and had gotten over his initial apprehension toward him due to the courtroom beating, but his personality was so stiff. Even if Levi wasn’t giving orders, he was awkward and hard to talk to. Eren was never sure if he was saying something right or wrong, and nothing ever cracked a smile from his superior.

When he reached the captain’s quarters, the door was already open. He tapped on the doorframe and cleared his throat. “Captain, Petra said you wanted me?”

“Eren, sit. Have some tea.”

Levi didn’t bother to look back at Eren right away, instead favoring the window, watching as the rain outside continued to pour down. Although Levi’s expression rarely gave him away, there was almost something melancholy about the look in his eyes as he fixated on the storm outside. Eren was curious about what was on the captain’s mind, but it wasn’t his place to ask.

“The roof was leaking,” Eren confessed without any prompting. “That’s why I didn’t make it down for tea. I was trying to make sure water didn’t get all over the place.”

“I see,” Levi replied, finally turning to focus his attention on his subordinate. “We’ll have to work on getting that fixed then. Can’t have more mildew buildup happening.”

Eren winced. _Please, let’s not have this talk again._

“No, sir.” He took a sip of his tea as he watched his captain walk over to the desk and sit down across from him.

“Are you getting more comfortable with the squad?” Levi’s tone was soft and sincere. Ever since Eren’s accidental transformation, he noticed that Levi had seemed more intent on checking in with him and the rest of the squad, gauging how they were feeling about each other..

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s good,” Levi replied, taking a drink from his own cup of tea. “The expedition is in a week. I wanted to see how you’re feeling about it.”

“Nervous,” Eren replied, setting his tea down onto the desk. “I don’t want to let anyone down.”

“As long as you do what you’re told and don’t betray us, then the expedition should go well,” Levi said, meeting Eren’s eyes but not giving anything away.

“Of course,” Eren said. He looked down to his teacup, feeling disheartened that his loyalty was still being questioned. “I won’t transform unless you tell me to or my life is in danger, as we agreed on.”

Levi let out an acknowledging hum and sipped at his tea. Eren followed suit, trying to find comfort in the awkward silence that fell between them. After a few minutes of only hearing the rain pattering against the window, he couldn’t stand the quiet any longer, so he spoke up again. “Captain… May I ask what your first expedition was like?”

Levi’s steely eyes narrowed, that melancholic expression washing over his face again as he turned to look back outside. Eren felt himself stiffen up, thinking that perhaps prying into the captain’s history wasn’t something he was meant to do.

Levi finished off his tea before setting the empty teacup back onto the desk. “I killed eight titans.”

Eren could see that his captain wasn’t going to give him anymore than that, disappointing as it was, but he took what he could get and smiled gently. “That’s really impressive.” It was an underwhelming compliment. He felt a bit dumb for saying it at all and hid the embarrassment through a final drink of tea. “I should get back to my duties, sir.” He pushed his chair back and stood up, preparing to dismiss himself from the room.

“Are you having any doubts about becoming a scout?” Levi asked, turning his attention back onto Eren once more.

“Sir?” Eren stopped in his tracks, brows furrowed as he turned back to face the captain.

“I’m sure the image you had of joining the Survey Corps didn’t involve me kicking your tooth out.”

“Oh, well…” Eren trailed off, trying to find the right words to say. “That part kind of sucked, yeah. I just hope that you guys don’t always see me as a monster, I guess. I know we talked about it before, but having the others turn their blades on me really felt like a slap to the face.”

“But you don’t blame them for it,” Levi said.

“I don’t. But I just don’t want everyone to always feel like I’m a--”

“You assume that being a monster is an inherently bad thing,” Levi interrupted. “I think the bigger concern should be whether or not you can show them that _you_ are worth being feared.”

“I can become a titan. Why wouldn’t people be scared of me?” Eren asked, unsure of what the captain was getting at.

“I don’t mean your titan. I mean _you_.”

Their eyes met again and Levi’s melancholic expression had washed away in favor of one more stern and determined. Eren could tell Levi was trying to read him and he hoped that his confusion wasn’t showing on his face.

“So then you see me as just a monster too?” Eren asked. He didn’t want to always be seen as just a tool, something to babysit, or a monster to be killed if he made one wrong move. He was just as human as anyone, and thinking back to the time the captain had stood between him and his squad when he accidentally transformed, Eren had hoped the gesture meant Levi understood that too...

“You might be a monster,” Levi said, “but you’re the only hope we’ve got left.”

If Levi still thought of him as just a monster, that was something he was determined to change.

“I’ll do what I can, sir,” he said, offering his superior a salute before turning to leave the room.

“One more thing,” Levi said, stopping him once again. “You look exhausted. Why don’t you take the rest of the night off?”

Eren turned. “You want me to head downstairs then?”  

“Some of your friends joined the scouts, right?” Levi asked, turning back to look outside of the window. “Who knows how this expedition will turn out.”

Shocked, Eren felt his mouth drop open a bit before he asked, “Are you saying I can go see them?”

“Yeah,” Levi replied. “Leave the rest of the cleaning to me; I’ll see about getting that ceiling fixed.”

Eren wanted to ask why the captain was offering all of this to him but decided against it, simply accepting his offer and leaving it at that. “Sir,” he said as he finally left the room.

 

* * *

 

Eren found his friends sitting around a table in he mess hall and sat down to join them.

“Eren, you were allowed to come down here?” Mikasa asked. She looked shocked, but her eyes gave away that she was happy to see him.

“Yeah, the captain told me to,” Eren explained.

“Aren’t you supposed to be under his supervision at all times?” Armin asked, looking around the room as though he was trying to find their superior.

Now that Eren thought about it, the captain really didn’t always follow this rule.

“Now that you mention it, I did get to see you guys all alone when you first arrived. And he let me stay up all night with Squad Leader Hange the first night that we stayed here,” he said as the realization sank in.

“Maybe the captain isn’t such a stickler after all, huh?” Armin said, giving Eren an encouraging smile.

Eren nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

“How’s everything going?” Mikasa asked, placing a gentle hand on Eren’s shoulder. “That shorty isn’t hurting you or anything, is he?”

A little annoyed by Mikasa still being a worrywart over him, Eren shook his head. “No, if anything it’s really Squad Leader Hange you need to worry about. They don’t know when to stop.” He placed his hand against his forehead, covering his eyes as he looked down at the table. “I could probably sleep for a week if they’d let me.”

“You should let them know if they’re working you too hard,” Armin suggested, concern written all over his face.

“It’s fine,” Eren insisted. “The experiments are important. How else can I figure out how to use my titan power?”

They fell quiet for a few moments. Armin took a loud sip of his tea, blushing as though he didn’t mean to make so much noise. “You ready for the expedition?” He asked, trying to remedy his embarrassment.

“A little nervous,” Eren said. “But it should go well, right? How are you feeling?”

“Scared, if I’m being honest,” Armin admitted, and Eren noticed the slight tremble in his fingers as he gripped onto his teacup. “It seems like they’re allowing most of us cadets to stay a bit more in the center, but honestly anything can happen.”

“Yeah,” Eren sighed. “That’s actually why Levi encouraged me to come see you guys.”

“He actually told you to come sit with us?” Mikasa asked, sounding a bit shocked.

Eren shrugged. “Yeah. Is that weird?”

“Just unexpected.”

“He’s not that bad, Mikasa,” Eren chuckled, cupping his cheek in his hand and resting his elbow on the table. “He hasn’t been bad at all, really. Just hard to read.”

“Still a fanboy?”  Armin laughed.

“I’m not a fanboy!” Eren defended himself, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. “I just… admire him a lot.”

“Sure,” Armin chuckled before taking another sip of his tea.

“I’m serious,” Eren insisted. “I just hope I can be as good of a soldier as him someday. I’m sure Mikasa will be,” he finished, looking over toward Mikasa. “You certainly have the skill to rival him.”

Mikasa blushed and put a hand up to her scarf as she looked away. “I better get headed to the barracks, it’s getting late.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Eren apologized.

“You should get to bed too, you look exhausted,” Mikasa replied, deflecting Eren’s words as she stood up.

“I should do the same,” Armin said as he also got up. “Hopefully we can see you again before the expedition?”

“Yeah… I hope so,” Eren said, mirroring his friends and getting up from the table.

They exchanged a final goodbye before they all went their separate ways. Eren made his way down into the basement where his bed was. He stared at the rusty prison bars and was thankful they never actually locked him inside. He wasn’t a prisoner, per se. Just confined.

Hopefully that would change after the expedition. After he could prove he was a valuable asset and after he became a bonafide member of both the Survey Corps and Squad Levi.

He also found himself hoping that he could leave a better impression on the captain, wanting to change the way that he sees him, too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi observes Eren before and after the expedition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a bit with the content of this chapter, but I’m hoping that things go more smoothly as I get further into more “imaginative” territory with the timeline. A huge shout out to [@omglevixeren](http://omglevixeren.tumblr.com) & [@attraversiamo19](http://attraversiamo19.tumblr.com) for beta’ing this and helping me smooth out and flesh out the things that I was really struggling with! <3
> 
> Also thank you all so much for the kind comments on the first chapter! I'm sorry I didn't have a proper chance to reply to them all, but just know that I appreciated them so much and it really encourages me to continue with this! <33

“With the expedition tomorrow, I was hoping you could tell me how things are going with Eren,” Erwin said, facing the window outside of his office.

Levi sat down on the chair in the corner of the room and looked over at him. The commander had busied himself all month planning for their next expedition and Levi understood that there was more to it than simply reconnaissance. They’d only seen each other a handful of times in the last month, but he was here now to get the full scope of the plan.

Levi considered the question for a moment, thinking back to the night that his squad bit their hands in a show of giving their trust to Eren and how positive they all had been about working together moving forward.

“Things are going well. Eren is getting along with his squadmates and seems to trust them,” he reported. “He seems a bit troubled from time to time but ultimately seems eager to be a part of the Survey Corps.”

He knew that Erwin had an inkling that an enemy may try to come after Eren. While the commander seemed to trust Eren more than others did, it was still important to gauge how Eren was faring since joining the Survey Corps. His state of mind would play an important part in how well Erwin’s plans would go over.

“Have there been any more incidents?” Erwin asked, turning back to face Levi.

“No,” Levi answered. “Once we realized what the conditions for his transformation are, he’s been able to control it fine.”

“I see,” Erwin said, seating himself behind his desk. “Then hopefully we will be able to convince the brass that he is an asset, not just a monster to be feared.”

Monster. The word had been used to describe Eren hundreds of times now and Levi agreed with the general assessment. However, he saw it differently than the others. It wasn’t Eren’s ability that made him intimidating, it was his very essence that was terrifying. He saw it clear as day in the basement cell and on the courtroom floor; Eren wasn’t the type of person to submit to anyone or anything. He was like a wolf backed into a corner, baring his teeth, ready to strike.

It was enough to give Levi chills.

“Yes, well,” Levi said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back, “hopefully with the success of the mission people will be able to accept Eren for who and what he is.”

“ _If_ the mission is successful,” Erwin replied, wrapping one hand with another and placing them in front of his mouth. “There are still too many variables to consider.”

Levi looked at the commander sharply, intent to understand what was going through his head. “Of course, you also have ulterior motives for this expedition,” he said, pausing for a moment to try and read Erwin’s partially hidden expression. “Do you think they’ll come for him?”

“My instinct tells me as much,” Erwin replied. “Do you think Eren will fight?”

“Hard to say,” Levi admitted. “He wants to be part of the group, but I think he won’t be content to sit and do nothing if he sees his comrades being killed either. If it gets ugly, he may act out of line.”

“And what will you do if he disobeys orders?”

“If he fights our enemy, then I’ll fight with him. If he goes against us, I’ll take him down.”

“I see,” Erwin said.

“Erwin,” Levi said firmly, standing up from his chair and walking over to the commander’s desk. “Is there some kind of crack in the plan you’re concerned about?” It was enough to get Erwin to focus his attention on him. “Surely you didn’t just call me here to ask how the kid is feeling.”

“The crack in the plan _is_ Eren,” Erwin clarified, lowering his hands from his face. “You’re the one who has been spending time with him. I called you here in hopes that you could give me some confidence on whether he’ll be an asset or a burden.”

“And I’m sure that my insight was very helpful.” Levi said, voice thick with sarcasm. “What would be even more helpful is telling me exactly what you need Eren to do. What you need _me_ to do.”

Levi trusted Erwin with his life, but one thing that annoyed him to no end was Erwin’s refusal to divulge all the details of his plans to him. Everything was cryptic, calculated, manipulative in a way. Levi understood well that Erwin was a manipulative man, but as long as his reasons were good, Levi was usually willing to overlook it and trust in Erwin’s judgement. They did agree, after all, to save humanity together.

“Our goal is to capture the enemy using Eren as bait. I need you to keep him pushing forward. That's all,” Erwin instructed. “If the plan goes south, I’ll trust in your judgement on how to handle the situation.”

Resigned, Levi let out a sigh. He knew that was the best he’d get out of Erwin. “I'll trust in yours as well.”

With that, it was time to head back to the castle.

 

* * *

 

“You look restless,” Levi pointed out, noticing the erratic way Eren was sweeping the floor of one of the unoccupied rooms in the castle.

“Just nervous about the expedition tomorrow,” Eren explained as he continued to sweep.

On the opposite side of the room, Levi began scrubbing away at the window which had developed some mildew buildup from the rain several days ago. Disgusting. “Worried you’ll become titan shit?”

“Not exactly, sir,” Eren said. Levi heard the sweeping stop behind him and he turned around to see Eren take a seat on the single chair in the room. “I just feel like I don’t know everything. Commander Erwin said he wanted to use this expedition to show I’m an asset to humanity, right? But isn’t it just a simple reconnaissance mission? I know you guys don’t trust me, but I don’t know how I can be useful when I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Going outside of the walls and coming back alive. Not betraying us. Those are ways to show you are an asset,” Levi said, turning his attention away and scrubbing aggressively at the windowsill. “Once we can pave a path to Shiganshina, we can use your power, figure out a way to plug up the hole in Wall Maria and find out what your father left you in your basement.”

“Right. The basement...” Eren trailed off. He sounded hesitant.

When Levi faced him again, he noticed that Eren was clutching the key in his hands. He’d always kept it attached to his neck, Levi noticed, only taking it off to shower or train. “Any idea what could be down there?” he asked.

Eren shook his head, letting go of the key and allowing it to loosely fall over his shirt. “Not a clue. He said the truth is down there, though.” Eren let out a small huff, almost a chuckle. “If Wall Maria hadn’t been attacked that day, my dad said he was going to show it to me when he got back home. I was really excited to see it.”

“You’ve never seen the basement to your own house?” Levi quirked a brow, genuinely curious about how Eren had lived ten years without ever going down there.

“No,” Eren replied. “He always kept it locked.”

Satisfied with the elimination of the mildew on the windowsill, Levi set the rag down and pulled the handkerchief off of his face. “Why would he keep that kind of information tucked away when it’s so important?”

“I don’t know,” Eren said.

“It’s pretty infuriating when you think about it,” Levi said sternly, locking eyes with Eren. “Survey Corps soldiers have been dying for years trying to get their hands on any information that could help humanity fight back. And this guy - your dad - supposedly has all the answers, and he’s kept them locked away. Why?”

Eren broke eye contact with Levi, looking down at his hands, balling them up into fists. “I’ve asked myself the same question.”

Levi could see the troubled look on Eren’s face and decided then that it was best to distract him from thoughts of the situation instead. “You still haven’t finished sweeping,” he said as he placed his used rag into a water bucket. “Keep working on this room. I’ll move onto the next. We can talk more with the squad over tea tonight.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren replied as he got up and grabbed the broom again.

 

* * *

 

“Your hands are shaking,” Levi observed, watching as Eren’s hands trembled around the handle of his horse’s reins. “Still nervous?”

The sun hadn’t even fully risen into the sky yet and the Survey Corps was getting ready to head out from their castle to Karaness district for the expedition. Levi had gotten anything but a good night’s rest, tossing and turning in anticipation of the grueling day ahead of them and the likelihood that an intelligent titan may try to capture Eren. He dreaded the possibility that Eren could lose control and that drastic measures would have to be taken against him.

Levi didn’t have a good feeling about how the day was going to go. Still, he had to keep a calm composure for the sake of his squad. Perhaps even more so for Eren.

“No,” Eren replied before his mouth stretched open into a yawn. “Still trying to wake up is all.”

“Well you better get alert before we get to Karaness,” Levi said. “It’s a big day.”

“I know.”

“Levi!” Hange’s voice called out from behind him. He turned to face them. “All squads are ready to head out.”

“Let’s go meet up with Erwin, then.”

The ride to Karaness was a relatively short one, and they arrived once the sun finally settled above the horizon. There was a lot of hustle and bustle, people talking and crowding around the scouts. Some were cheering them on, others were grumbling and complaining about their wasted tax dollars. There were also those whispering about the titan in the Survey Corps, debating whether he was the savior of humanity or if he would turn on them in the end. Some of them were trying to pick out which scout was the titan in question. Levi wasn’t a fan of the gossip and speculation. He wondered if Eren could hear it and how it might affect him. He looked over in Eren’s direction - they’d gotten separated a bit during the ride over - and saw him looking forward with a determined expression on his face.

“Levi,” Erwin’s voice called out, getting Levi’s attention. “We’ll be headed out soon, I take it you and your squad are fully prepared?”

“Of course, I didn’t pick sitting ducks for my squad.” Levi replied.

“How’s Eren?”

“Nervous, but he won’t admit it this morning,” Levi answered, looking across the way to to find that Eren’s friends had met up with him for one last conversation before the expedition. “Eager to show us what he’s worth, though.”

“Let’s hope all goes well, then,” Erwin said, looking in the same direction as Levi.

“Yeah, let’s hope,” Levi replied.

“If we successfully capture our target, make sure to meet up with the first squad immediately. I trust your squad can handle Eren in the meantime,” Erwin ordered. “Let’s get the formation together. It’s time to head out.”

“Don’t get eaten out there,” Levi said as Erwin started to gallop off toward the front of the regiment. Levi made his way over to Eren.

“Hey,” he said as he approached. “Time to get in formation.”

Eren’s friends quickly dispersed and headed to their formation spots - the girl seemed especially regretful to separate from him, Levi noticed. Eren followed Levi to their spots in the formation where the rest of the squad was already located.

“Captain,” Petra started, a grin forming on her face. “I think we’re going to do great out there!”

“As long as the greenhorn understands his position,” Oluo added. “You know what’ll happen if you step out of line, kid,” he finished, looking in Eren’s direction.

“He’s part of the team, Oluo,” Eld argued. “You’ve acknowledged that just like the rest of us.”

“Eren,” Gunther said, smiling at the boy. “We have faith in you.”

Levi appreciated the light-hearted banter from his squad, although they were probably making Eren’s nerves jump around even more. He never knew if or when it would be the last time he’d hear them talk with each other like this. Given their skill, he assumed it was likely he’d continue to hear it for years to come, but one can never know what will happen.

“All of you get ready,” Levi ordered before he faced forward. “We’re moving out any second now.”

The scouts fell quiet as the bell rang, announcing the opening of the gate. Levi heard some children muttering off to the side in awe about how cool the Survey Corps was. He looked back and saw Eren smiling softly at their excitement. It was endearing, in its own way, how proud he looked to be a part of this. What little doubt Levi had before washed away then, and he felt certain that Eren was genuine in his desire to be a scout.

Levi turned and focused his eyes forward, where they would remain for the duration of the expedition.

 

* * *

 

Things didn't go well in the end. Countless soldiers, including Levi’s squad, were lost to the brutality of the Female Titan.

“Well, you came back alive. Guess that makes you a certified scout now,” Levi said as he set his teacup down and took a seat at the table in the mess hall.

“Yeah…” Eren mumbled, staring at his cup.

“We almost lost you there,” Levi said, looking over at Eren with concern. “You’ve got a good friend, you know.” He opted to leave out the part where he had no faith that Eren was still alive and how Mikasa was the one who insisted that they push after him. How relieved he was when he pulled Eren out of the Female Titan’s mouth.

“I’m tired of her feeling like she has to look after me,” Eren commented, seemingly irritated about the fact that he had to be rescued. Curious as her loyalty toward Eren was, it wasn’t Levi’s business nor his concern at the moment. Right now his focus was on getting Eren in better spirits.

“Well,” Levi paused, moving his cup in little circles and watching the tea inside swirl around. “We didn’t lose you. That’s the most important thing.”

Eren furrowed his brow, still concentrated on the cup he still hadn’t drank from. “I don’t know how much it matters when the Capital wants me handed over now.”

“Erwin will figure something out,” Levi said, taking a sip. “He always does.”

“Sure,” Eren said.

Eren, normally eager and intent, was distant and quiet tonight. He wouldn’t even so much as glance in Levi’s direction. Not that Levi was surprised. In fact, he put the blame for this on himself more than anything. If only he’d been there to help his squad fight. If only he’d been there to prevent Eren from being captured. He worried that his guidance had only made Eren’s path even more confusing than it already was.  

“Drink your tea before it gets cold,” he said, trying to fill the air with any kind of noise. Eren complied and took a short sip, but the room fell silent again.

He studied Eren, wondering how much the kid was beating himself up over what happened. But Levi knew there was nothing he could say that would ease the burden of guilt because he also had the same defeatist thoughts.

_It’s my fault._

“They’re late,” Levi said as he turned his gaze away, tired of the awkward silence permeating the air around them. Sitting in the room with Eren like this only made Levi’s conscience become heavier. “I can’t believe that good-for-nothing Erwin… making me wait. The MP’s are going to get here first.” Eren still wouldn’t look in his direction, rendering Levi’s rambling one-sided. “Most likely, he’s having some trouble taking a shit.”

Perhaps it was really Levi who needed a distraction.

“Haha,” Eren chuckled. An ingenuine laugh if Levi’s ever heard one, but acknowledgment nonetheless. Levi finished off his tea. “Captain,” Eren continued, “you’re pretty talkative today.”

“Don’t be stupid, I’ve always been talkative,” Levi replied, looking back over to Eren who was still looking straight ahead of him.

“I’m sorry,” Eren started. “Back then… if only I hadn’t made the wrong choice, things might’ve been different. Even you were injured.”

A hurt ankle forcing Levi to the sidelines was the price to pay to get Eren back. He was reminded of this as the stinging pain shot through his leg. But he was relieved that Eren was finally talking about how he felt instead of just staring at the wall. “I told you,” Levi said, still intent on taking the guilt away from the boy. “No one knows how things will turn out.” _Leave the burden of guilt to me._

Their conversation was cut short when Erwin finally showed up. The remainder of the night was spent discussing the identity of the Female Titan - allegedly some girl in the cadet corps that Eren knew - and the game plan to lure her out and keep Eren in the Survey Corps’ custody in one go. Levi took note of Eren’s denial, his general distraughtness over the accusations, and he wondered if Eren and the girl had been close during their training years. If that was the case, then it was just another fan to the flame. Another weight on the boy’s shoulders.

When this was over, Levi thought, what Eren needed was a distraction. He needed friends and reinforcement that what he was doing was good, that not everything was his burden to bear. He was a miracle, after all, and Levi wanted to do his best to encourage and guide him in positive ways.

The meeting came to an end, and Levi insisted that Eren head off with his friends and told him not to worry about sleeping in the basement again. He was no longer concerned about the orders from the higher ups. He just wanted Eren to be comfortable for now. Even if just for tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsure of the path moving forward, Eren worries he will be unable to protect those dearest to him. And what is this strange feeling he's starting to have around the captain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in this chapter. Between the recent manga chapters and being without a reasonable computer for over a month it's safe to say my creative juices took a bad hit. But I'm feeling it starting to come back again. Thanks as always to [omglevixeren](http://omglevixeren.tumblr.com) and [attraversiamo19](http://attraversiamo19.tumblr.com) for beta'ing this chapter for me and helping me tighten it up a bit!
> 
> Also, if anyone reading this has only watched the anime, this is just a heads up that I am following the manga version of the Uprising arc, which is drastically different than the anime's retelling of it. So if anything seems incorrect to you, that's why (please read the manga! <3).

Eren stared at the stone slab bearing Hannes’ name as the rain poured down over him. A few days had passed since he had to be saved from Reiner and Bertolt and the wound was still fresh.

_It was my fault, I’m sorry,_ he thought as he placed flowers on the gravestone.

His titan power made him a valuable asset and sacrifices had to be made to keep him safe. Although he was growing more used to the idea, it was a heavy burden to bear. Would their sacrifices be worth it in the end?

Eren looked around to find the captain, who had escorted him to the graveyard, and spotted him several rows down standing between two unfamiliar gravestones. He made his way over and noticed that the captain was looking at them sorrowfully.

“Old comrades?” he asked as he approached.

“Yeah,” Levi said. “You could call them that.”

Eren looked down at the stone slabs, taking note of the names carved into them: Farlan Church and Isabel Magnolia. He had half a mind to ask if the captain was close to them, but opted to keep things impersonal instead. “Does it ever get easier?”

“Not really,” Levi replied, crossing his arms and looking over to Eren. He sighed. “Humanity is looking to you for hope now. You can’t take that lightly.”

“I’m not,” Eren said, slightly defensive as he looked back to the captain. “I don’t want to keep seeing people die for my sake.”

“But it’s inevitable, you know that.”

“I should be able to save people with my power, like you can,” Eren insisted. “You’re humanity’s strongest. You can save anyone, right?”

“You can’t save everyone. The sooner you learn to accept that, the better.” The captain looked down at the gravestones again. “What you _can_ do is make sure that they didn’t die in vain. Honor them by pushing forward, striving for change, and fighting for our future.”

He looked back up and met Eren's eyes once more, and Eren could see the pain that was hidden behind them. He was humanity’s strongest, and yet his sad expression made him seem so fragile. He couldn’t save these people, just like he couldn’t save his squad, and Eren wondered how many regrets he lived with.

“Of course,” Eren said, fists clutching at his side as he steeled his own resolve. “I’ll keep doing my best.” _I don’t want to have any more regrets_.

He realized then how the two of them had some things in common: pressure, expectations, labels that carried a heavy weight.

_Humanity’s strongest and humanity’s hope._

The thought of that oddly gave Eren butterflies.

They stood quietly for a moment with their eyes locked on each other. And for the first time, Eren really looked at the captain’s eyes, soaking in the silvery blue of his irises, the tired bags underneath. All Eren could think in that moment was how much he would love to get to really know him. Why did he always look so tired? Who was the man behind the thick walls he surrounded himself with?

The captain turned away, breaking the budding tension between them. “Right, well… We should get going.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren said, glancing down at the graves one more time before following the captain to the carriage. He made sure to remember the names. Maybe someday he could ask about them.

* * *

Captain Levi had only taken a few days to determine who the new members of his squad would be. Eren wasn’t sure how he felt about the captain picking the 104th cadets, and he worried that they would end up dying for his sake just as the old squad did. Aside from Mikasa for her obvious skill, Eren wondered what exactly was the reason why the captain picked the rest of them over seasoned veterans.

But a week had passed, and during that time Eren was reminded of how good it felt to be around his friends like this again. They were hiding out in a mountain cabin, waiting to hear news from Commander Erwin about what their next step should be. Eren wasn’t too keen on the idea at first but he understood it was for his and Historia’s safety.

He often had to hound the others about cleaning ( _Oh crap, I’m becoming like the captain_ , he would often think), but found himself smiling when they would start bickering about who was doing what and how. When the captain praised Eren for doing a good job cleaning and pushing the rest of the squad in the right direction, it made him happy.

“Historia, we’re going to play a game of cards. Do you want to join?” Eren asked one night, hoping to try and lift her spirits and get her more involved. She refused and went to the girls’ bedroom for the night.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll go with her,” Mikasa offered as she excused herself from the table.

He’d noticed Historia hadn’t been herself since they returned to the wall. Surely she was heartbroken over Ymir leaving. Mikasa seemed to have better reach, often going into a quiet room with Historia. Eren was sure he heard Historia crying to Mikasa and Sasha one night, but opted not to be too nosy about it.

He found himself having to make Jean’s bed again one morning. As he walked down the stairs into the common room, he rubbed his eye and started chastising him (for the fifth time that week). “Jean, if I have to make your bed another damn time, I swear-”

“You’re not my damn mom, Eren.” Jean interrupted, leaning back in his chair. “Stop nagging me. I was going to get around to it.”

“You should just do it when you wake up!”

“If neither of you shut the hell up I’ll leave horse cleaning duties to you both indefinitely,” Captain Levi had threatened that morning, holding onto his tea cup in his usual peculiar way. “But Eren is right. Make your damn bed.”

Eren smirked at Jean, glad to know the captain had his back.

* * *

The situation was escalating and squad leader Hange didn’t seem to know what to do after the death of Pastor Nick. But with the captain’s pushing, they made the decision to run experiments with Eren to try and figure out titan hardening, while also devising a way to fight back against the interior military police.

During the experiments, Eren found himself becoming increasingly more light headed and foggy. He vaguely remembered transforming a second time, but couldn’t even remember doing it a third time. All the while, he never figured out how to harden his titan skin.

When he finally woke up again, he was surprised to find the captain sitting at his bedside.

“Mm… Captain?” Eren murmured as he pushed himself upright.

“You’re finally awake,” Levi responded. “Mikasa got you some water; use it if you need to.”

“How long have I been out?” Eren asked, grabbing at the cloth next to the bucket of water on the nightstand.

“A day,” Levi said. “Your face was completely peeled off, even your eyes were gone.”

Eren felt his mouth drop in horror. “It was that bad?”

“Disgusting, really. And we gained nothing from the experiments,” Levi grumbled, pinching and rubbing at the bridge of his nose. Eren could sense that the captain was grumpier than usual. “We don’t have enough time for this.”

“I’m sorry,” Eren apologized, dipping the cloth into the hot water.

“No point in apologizing.” Levi hunched over and clasped his hands together. “It won’t fix anything.”

Eren couldn’t help but feel down, and the captain’s mood wasn’t helping the matter. Was he mad at him? The idea of that made Eren’s stomach sink. “Captain, I--”

“Eren, you’re awake!” Mikasa’s voice rang through the doorway. “Thank goodness.” She quickly made her way over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Is there anything you need?”

“I’m fine,” Eren replied, looking up at her with a soft smile. “Thank you for getting me some water.”

“Of course,” Mikasa replied.

“Mikasa,” Levi started, straightening his back again, “go grab Hange. We should go over the results of the experiment with Eren and decide how to move forward.”

“Sure.” Mikasa seemed to hesitate for a moment before leaving the room. Eren figured she was probably restless about his condition. Typical Mikasa. It made him all the more curious why it was Levi sitting at his bedside and not her, or even Armin.

“Better get ready for one of Hange’s long-winded rants,” Levi said, voice still laced with irritability. “What was it you were going to say?”

“It was nothing,” Eren said, realizing he didn’t want the captain to see how self-conscious he was feeling at the time. “Already slipped my mind.”

He could dwell on his feelings later.

* * *

When Hange came in to talk over the results of the experiments, Eren found himself rather surprised that Captain Levi had been the one to break out into a rant instead of them. He spoke of the freedom outside the walls, and though Eren felt down about the fruitless experiments, it did inspire him to keep moving forward. The captain had been outside the walls before, and Eren wondered what it was like.

Once they established another plan to move forward, they decided to leave the room to let Eren either rest or get himself dressed if he was feeling better.

“Captain,” Eren said, and the captain paused. He turned back to face Eren, standing in the doorway with a shoulder leaning against the frame. “Does it really feel different out there? You know, beyond the walls?”

“It does,” Levi confirmed.

“Can you tell me about it sometime?” Eren asked, giving the captain a small smile. “I mean, your first time leaving the walls.”

The captain shrugged with his free shoulder. “It was a lot better than being in the underground city.”

“So what exactly did it feel like?” Eren asked, a pitch of excitement in his tone. “What was your first titan kill like?” he continued

The captain’s eyes went a bit darker. “It’s a story for another time,” he replied. “We have more important things to deal with. If you’re feeling better, I’d suggest getting up and helping out with dinner.”

Eren felt his shoulders droop as his excitement immediately plummeted into his gut. “Yes, sir.” Eren felt his shoulders droop as he watched the captain exit the room. He’d hoped that Captain Levi would share a story with him or tell him anything about what it was like to leave the walls. He wanted to know as much about the captain as he could, really. Although the line between whether he wanted to know his hero Captain Levi, or simply who the genuine Levi was, started to feel more blurred. “A story for another time…” he mumbled quietly to himself.  

Hopefully another time came soon.

* * *

After dinner, Eren and his friends found that resting at the cabin was no longer an option. Commander Erwin had sent them a warning that the Military Police had discovered their location and that they needed to get moving immediately. As expected, the captain was already a step ahead of them and ready to get out.

Their group spent the entire night heading to the rendezvous point just outside of Trost district. They walked through forests as much as possible in order to lay low. The sky was cloudy that night and while it helped to keep them covered, it made things harder to see. As they walked down that final stretch, they decided that they had to devise a plan for their next move.

“What if Jean and I stand in as body doubles for Eren and Historia?” Armin suggested. “Then we can keep the two of them hidden away in a safe place.”

“I have to dress like Eren again!?” Jean responded, clearly offended at the idea. “No way, make Connie do it.”

“But you’ve already done it before and it worked out great,” Armin replied.

“He doesn’t look a thing like me,” Eren said, offended that Jean was, once again, being suggested as his body double.

“Eren, I swear if you call me a horse face, I’ll--”

“Be quiet, all of you,” Levi said sternly. He turned his attention to Armin. “If you think this will work, then I’ll trust your judgement.”

“Armin,” Eren started, reaching a hand out to touch Armin’s shoulder. The moonlight finally started to filter through the clouds. “Do you understand how much danger you’ll put yourself in if you act as a body double?”

“I’m aware of the risks,” Armin said, giving Eren a determined look. “What other choice do we have? You need to stay safe.”

Eren didn't want to accept that the lives of his friends were strategically more disposable than his own. It wasn't right to put them in unnecessary danger. “There has to be something else we can do.”

“Eren,” Levi said. “This is the plan we are going with. You and Historia can't be seen wandering around outside. Mikasa and I will be there to make sure that Armin and Jean are safe. Sasha and Connie will keep lookout to let us know when danger is coming.”

It didn't go unnoticed by Eren that the captain was keenly aware of his exact concerns, and he felt his cheeks flush and his heart start to pound. But why?

“Who's going to watch Eren and Historia?” Mikasa asked, which quickly distracted Eren from the pounding in his chest.

Captain Levi pointed to one of the houses at the end of the trail. “This is Nifa's place. She'll keep watch over Eren and Historia until we can nab up the boss of the Reeves company and find out what the military police want Eren and Historia for.”

“Do you actually think he’ll talk?” Jean questioned. “They're probably paying him a hefty price. He's always been a greedy man.”

“Then we’ll just have to make a better deal with him,” Levi said.

“What can we possibly offer?” Jean asked.

“I'll figure it out when I’ve got him cornered,” Levi answered.

“Yeah, good luck with tha--” Jean started before tripping over a large rock. Eren couldn’t help but snicker at Jean’s misfortune.

“Stop horsing around Jean,” he laughed, interrupted only by ramming his own foot into another rock close by. “Ow!” He shouted. “That was my damn toe... ” He hissed, stopping to rub at his shoe to try and make the pain go away.

“Serves you right,” Jean mumbled as he picked himself back up from the ground.

“Both of you guys are a disaster,” Mikasa sighed.

* * *

 When they reached Nifa's house, she greeted them warmly.

“Would you guys like some tea?” She offered. “I made some while I was waiting for you all to get here.”

“Yes,” Levi accepted. “Thank you, Nifa.”

They briefly touched base, going over the situation at hand and giving the details of their plan to Nifa. Once they were all on the same page, Nifa directed Eren and Historia to go into the guest room to hide out there.

“Captain,” Eren said quietly as he pulled the captain aside in the hallway. “Why did you pick the 104th cadets for your squad?” He was genuinely curious of course, but mainly concerned about their safety. Sure, most of them graduated in the top of their class, but they didn't have the experience of a veteran. “How can you be so sure they can pull this off?”

“They each have a set of skills that I find useful,” Levi replied, trying to keep a stone face on, but Eren could see the concern bleeding through his features. “I have faith in their abilities.”

“Armin isn't a skilled fighter,” Eren pointed out. Admittedly, he was most concerned about him. He knew Mikasa could handle herself. But he wasn’t sure how well he’d handle it if either of them got hurt. A pang of guilt twisted in his gut when he thought about everyone else who’s already died for his sake. “I don’t feel right asking him to do something so dangerous.”

“He has a good head on his shoulders,” Levi said. “I'm sure you're aware of that.”

The room fell quiet for a moment as Eren looked down, unsure of how to respond to the captain’s words. What more could he do other than voice his concerns?

The captain took a hold of Eren’s hand, lifting it to eye level and gesturing at the place where Eren bit down for his transformations. The same spot that Petra and the others had imprinted as a display of trust in him. Eren could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. “You need to remember to have faith in your comrades. Have faith in me,” Levi said. “ _They_ believed in you back then and so do your friends now. They’re ready to put everything on the line for you, as I am. Remember that. Use that as fuel to keep pushing forward.”

Eren’s eyes widened at the realization. Though the memories of their first squad were painful to recall, it did serve as a reminder of Eren's resolve and trust in his fellow comrades. More importantly, trust in his friends. The captain had good judgement and a good read on people and situations, and Eren needed to trust in that too.

“Okay,” Eren said, willing himself to feel more confident in the situation. “I have faith that you’ll reach the best outcome.”

“Good,” Levi said. Did Eren notice a small smirk on his lips? “Now stay here until we learn what our next course of action will be,” Levi said as he started to walk away. “And don't give Nifa any trouble.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren said quietly, unable to stop watching the captain as he walked away. He couldn’t help but wonder why his heart started pounding again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Levi begins to come to terms with his own bloodline and powers, he finds that Eren is also dealing with his own internal struggles. Trying to open up to Eren more in hopes of getting him out of his funk, Levi finds himself alarmed at how much he has started to enjoy Eren’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [@omglevixeren](http://omglevixeren.tumblr.com) for being an awesome beta!

The night was chilly, and Levi had been keeping warm by the campfire as he stood watch for his squad while they got some rest. He pressed his palm against his shoulder and hissed at the sting of pain that shot down his arm. A lot had happened in the past few days, and Levi found himself staring into the fire as he reflected on all of it.

Negotiating with Dimo Reeves had been far easier than expected. He could sense a good man when he saw one, and even though Reeves was greedy, he did have a genuine concern for the people of Trost. Levi reminded him of the miracles that were only brought about due to Eren’s existence. And once he gave Reeves assurances for the people of his district, he was quickly able to strike a deal with him to capture the interior MP’s who were involved in this mess. 

Torture was a stressful and exhausting activity. But protecting Eren and Historia, getting answers, that came before anything. And when they learned that Historia was the daughter of the true king of the walls, it gave them hope for their uprising. Forcing her into taking up the throne, however, wasn’t something Levi took pleasure in. 

Using Eren and Historia as bait; that’s where things started to spiral out of control.

_ Getting ambushed like that by Kenny the Ripper. How stupid _ , he thought, picking up a stick to stoke the fire with.

“Captain,” Mikasa said as she walked past him. Like him, she was probably too preoccupied with getting Eren and Historia back to get any sleep. 

“You should get some rest,” Levi said, keeping his attention directed at the fire. 

“I could say the same for you,” she replied, taking a seat across the campfire from him. A silence filled the air for a while before she finally spoke up again. “So what’s the plan?”

Levi let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know.”

“I chose to trust you,” Mikasa said. To Levi’s surprise, there wasn’t any bitterness in her voice. “Ever after you roughed Historia up like that, I chose to have faith in you.”

“And?” Levi asked, poking his stick into the fire. He didn’t mean to sound impatient, but he hated it when people beat around the bush.

“It’s been two days since the interior squad killed Reeves and took them,” Mikasa pointed out. “How much longer is it going to take to get them back?”

“I don’t know.” It was the only answer Levi could give.

“When Annie took him, I went after her right away,” Mikasa said, pulling her scarf up to her face. “When he was taken by Reiner and Bertolt, we were able to go after him once a few hours had passed. Every time he’s taken from me, it takes longer to get him back.” 

“We got Eren back before. We’ll do it again,” Levi replied. Though he wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure Mikasa or himself. He finally made eye contact with her. “He’ll be alright.”

Mikasa sighed as she stood back up. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.” 

Levi wasn’t so sure he did. It was Erwin’s plan that got foiled in the first place, and he didn’t have his friend’s guidance to get out of this mess. Everything fell on Levi now.

“We’ll figure out a plan of action in the morning,” he said. “Try to get some sleep. Your strength is too valuable to risk being tired.”

“You should remember that about yourself,” Mikasa said quietly as she walked away.

He took a deep breath once Mikasa was out of earshot. He believed in Eren’s tenacity, but the lack of information was disconcerting. Kenny’s involvement didn’t make Levi feel any better about things, and allowing his squad to see his inner anxiety over the situation was out of the question. He had to keep up a strong front for all of them.

There was no future without Eren. That much Levi was certain of. Not getting Eren back wasn’t an option. 

He found himself looking up at the stars and he spoke, low and quiet, “Just hang in there a bit longer.”

* * *

Learning that Kenny’s last name is Ackerman had been a shock, and Levi wasn’t sure what to do with the information. Was Kenny related to Mikasa somehow? If so, did that mean Levi might be as well? He couldn’t deny the things that were glaringly alike about the two of them.

He’d have to confront Kenny about the truth later if neither of them killed the other first. But one thing he knew for sure was that informing his squad about what Kenny is capable of was paramount.

“Think you’re related?” He’d asked Mikasa, and he listened to her talk about her parents. She didn’t know anything about Kenny. But she did know that the Ackerman clan was persecuted, although she didn’t know  _ why _ . Suddenly it all clicked in Levi’s mind. 

“Mikasa, did you ever experience a moment in your life when it felt as though a power suddenly awoke inside of you?”

Her answer pieced the puzzle together, and Levi understood then that they were connected.

* * *

When Levi finally made it to Eren in the cave, he had not expected to come face to face with a boy wallowing in despair. What had happened that left Eren of all people feeling so hopeless? What could have been so bad that it had made him feel that he was so dispensable? What broke the monster?

“I’m sorry for always doing this to you, but Eren… You need to make a choice.” 

Levi hadn’t been sure if that was the right thing to say to Eren in that moment, but he felt relief in seeing it give Eren enough resolve to take action. Last time Eren was faced with a choice, he chose to believe in his comrades and it got them killed. This time, Eren chose to believe in himself and it saved his squad. Not only that, but he unlocked the titan hardening power, and did quite a good job with it. Levi couldn’t help but feel pride for his subordinate swell in his chest, and he was sure to give Eren the praise that he deserved. 

Still, Eren looked like shit, and it concerned Levi.

Once they decided to head in the direction Rod took off in, Levi pulled a shirt out of a bag on the carriage. “Here.” He felt embarrassed when he realized he’d stared at Eren’s torso a few seconds longer than he should have.

“Thanks,” Eren said, taking the shirt and slipping it on. Somehow, Eren looked pretty charming in black. If only he could wipe off that depressed look from his face. 

“You gonna be alright?” Levi asked as Eren pulled himself up onto the carriage. 

“Yeah,” Eren replied dismissively. “Let’s just figure out what to do next.”

On the carriage ride to Orvud, Eren and Historia explained what occured in the basement of the Reiss chapel. How the Founding Titan was stolen by Eren’s father and the blood he stained his hands with to do it. He imagined that Eren was heavily burdened with guilt about those children, and at the expense of a power that could only lie dormant within him.

Eren was ready to sacrifice himself and give the power back to the king if that’s what would save humanity. Levi didn’t like the idea. Something about it all just felt off. But if Eren was ready to make that sacrifice, who was Levi to tell him no? But Historia rejected the idea of handing the power back over to Rod Reiss only for him to become another brainwashed pacifist, and inexplicable relief washed over Levi.

* * *

When they finally arrived in Orvud, plans to eliminate Rod before he could cause any further damage had already begun. Everyone had to be prepared, and things needed to move as quickly as possible. Surprisingly, Eren was the most sluggish of everyone, and Levi decided to try and reach out.

“Hey,” Levi said as he approached Eren. The rest of the squad were filling their tanks and blades for the battle to come. Eren was only now getting out his gear. 

“Hey,” Eren replied in kind, tinkering with the belt buckles as he strapped them to his legs. 

“You feeling up to this?” Levi asked, taking a seat on a box next to Eren. “You’re really timid.”

“I am not,” Eren denied, though there was no real defensiveness to be heard. “I just have a lot on my mind.” 

“Anything you need to get out?” Levi offered as he clasped his hands together. 

“No,” Eren declined. “Thank you for the encouragement back in the cave, though.” 

“I meant what I said,” Levi replied, now putting a hand to Eren’s shoulder. “We have everything we need now. We can make another huge leap for humanity all because of you.” 

“It wasn’t anything  _ I _ did, though,” Eren said, brows furrowed in frustration. “I just bit down on a bottle that happened to be in the right place at the right time.” 

“And you saved us all,” Levi said, giving Eren’s shoulder a firm squeeze before standing up. “You believed in yourself, followed your instincts, and it made all the difference.” 

Eren blushed, though he still refused to make eye contact. 

“Hurry up and get ready,” Levi sighed. “We need to see what Erwin has up his sleeve before that thing gets here.”

* * *

Rod Reiss was defeated easily, and Levi set back out to the chapel several hours after to look for anything--anyone--left behind. When he found Kenny dying against a tree, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pity and loss. 

Learning Kenny is his uncle just before losing him left something empty in Levi’s heart. But he found himself feeling lucky when he faced his squad again. They were his family now, and he cared for them.

Three short knocks on the door took Levi out of his daze. He knew well enough that it was Eren. 

“Come in,” he said, inviting Eren into his office.

Eren was still struggling with feelings of worthlessness. It was written all over his face every time Levi saw him. He wasn’t sure what to do for Eren. How could he reassure him of his own worth? 

Eren came in with a tray, two teacups and a steaming teapot. He seemed more bashful than normal, Levi noticed.

“I brought you some tea, Captain” he said as he placed the tray down on Levi’s desk. 

“Thank you.” Levi poured himself a cup and looked up at Eren, who seemed to be unsure if he should walk away or make himself at home. “Take a seat,” Levi offered as he poured tea into the second cup. 

“Sure,” Eren said as he sat down in the chair opposite of Levi. 

“What brings you to my office, Eren?” Levi took a cautious sip, hoping not to burn his mouth. 

“I’m sorry about the… comment I made the other day.” The blush that cascaded Eren’s face didn’t go unnoticed, and the crack in his voice as he spoke was almost comical.

Confused, Levi set his cup down. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“When I called Rod a…” he paused and looked down toward the floor, “a tiny old man.” 

Levi wouldn’t admit it, but that comment stung him in the moment. The comment itself hadn’t bothered him. It was the reaction and realization on Eren’s face, knowing Levi was within earshot, that left Levi wondering if that’s how Eren really saw him. 

Despite that, the fact that it weighed on Eren’s conscience so heavily that he came to Levi’s office offering tea and apologies amused him. “What on earth has you thinking I’m upset about that?” Levi asked, forcing himself not to smirk. 

“I just didn’t want you thinking that’s how I felt about you or anything,” Eren said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. “You’re not old or--”

“I  _ am _ short, Eren.” Levi said, this time unable to prevent a tiny smile from forming on his lips. 

“I mean…” Watching Eren try to dig himself out of this proved to be good afternoon entertainment. “Well, Connie and Historia are shorter, I guess.” 

“Is this the only reason why you came to my office?” Levi asked, still amused but ready for the charade to end. He had plenty of paperwork that needed to be done. 

“Actually,” Eren said, the blush on his cheeks becoming more prominent. “I was wondering, since we’re not as short on time as we were before… Could you tell me more about your first time outside of the walls?”

_ Is he just trying to spend time with me? _ Levi wondered. 

Perhaps it wasn’t a bad thing. Levi could tell Eren of everything that went horribly wrong. Maybe knowing that even the great Captain Levi had his fuck ups would help Eren accept his own shortcomings.

“Yeah, alright,” he said, taking a sip of his tea. 

Rain started pattering outside of the window as Levi began to tell Eren his story. About Isabel and Farlan, about the Survey Corps chasing them through the alleyways of the underground, about his burning desire to kill Erwin after Levi was humiliated on his home turf. 

“I can’t believe you wanted to kill the Commander,” Eren said, incredulous. “You’re so loyal to him now.”

“Before I met Erwin, my sights were only set on leaving the underground city. I didn’t really have any idea of what I would do after I accomplished that,” Levi replied. “After my first expedition, I realized that Erwin had his sights on something bigger. Something worth fighting for.” 

He took a sip from his cup, unsure if he should divulge everything to Eren, but ultimately deciding it couldn’t hurt. 

“We promised to save humanity together, and it’s something that I believe in,” he said. “I made the choice to become his sword and shield that day. I haven’t regretted that.” 

He paused, allowing himself a short moment of personal grief as the reality of Erwin’s true intentions crept to the back of his mind. 

He continued his story, telling Eren about how he was poorly treated when he became a scout. How his comrades didn’t trust him, how they assumed he was just a filthy animal because of where he came from, how it made his blood boil. From there, it was about his first titan kill, and how he couldn’t have done it without the help of his friends. 

Before long, the thunder outside started rolling as the rain hit harder, and Levi told Eren of the day that weather just like this had caused him to miss the hoard of titans who would eventually eat his friends. How his focus on killing Erwin made him lose sight of what was truly important to him. How seeing the aftermath of what happened to Farlan and Isabel set him off in an unstoppable rage that allowed him to kill multiple titans effectively without getting a single scratch on him. 

“My pride, my thirst for revenge, it failed the people I cherished most in this world,” Levi said before finishing the rest of his tea. “Sure, I could pin all the blame on the titans, but the fault was mine for leaving them behind.” 

“I don’t think I could live with myself,” Eren confessed. “I tried to push Mikasa and Armin away when they said they wanted to follow me into the corps. The thought of them being eaten like that…” Levi noticed the way Eren’s fists clenched over his lap. 

“But you’ve successfully protected them,” Levi said, pointing straight at Eren, “countless times with that titan power.”

“Hardly,” Eren said with a sad smile. “They’re the ones always rescuing me.” He met Levi’s eyes and let out a soft chuckle. “You as well.” 

“It’s worth it,” Levi assured him. “Don’t sell yourself short.” 

They held their gaze a moment longer than was probably needed, and Levi couldn’t quite pinpoint the way he was feeling as he focused on the softness in Eren’s expression. Uncomfortable wasn’t quite the word he would use, but the way his heart started thrumming alarmed him enough that he decided it was time to end the visit. “I’m done with my tea,” he said. 

“Y-yeah…” Eren stuttered, placing both cups back on the tray and picking it up as he stood. “Sorry for distracting you from your work.” 

“It’s fine,” Levi said. He hated paperwork, after all. “It’s not like you’re the worst company to have around.” 

Eren’s cheeks became red again, and Levi saw him worry at his bottom lip, as if suppressing a smile. “Glad you feel that way.”

What Levi chose not to confess was how  _ nice _ it actually was to have Eren in the room, and how natural it felt to be around him.

“Odd,” he murmured to himself after Eren closed the door behind him.


End file.
